is this a rant?

i would ask you to tell me something...but you never seem to have time to
……….. so i'll simply tell you
i never thought
………..i could do better………..than him
i never imagine I could
… . . . . want more
………..dream of………..………..………..more
………..…. . . desire
………..………..… . . demand
………..………..………..….more
………..………..………..………..more
………..………..………..………..……….. more
of myself………..………../ ………..…………..or him

i saw myself as I saw them
and never imagine I could have
………what they
………..………couldn’t
my mother………..………..or hers………..………..or hers
but rather that this was………..………..what happened

………you stayed
...………..………and loved
………..………..………..and accepted what you could get

between the lines
………..………..of lies and stories
………..perhaps the truth

………..………..but really what were holydays
………..………..………..………..………..………..……….. without tears


i figured this was my fate

…to simply sate their desires………..………..………..and
………..………..………..………..wait
………..………..………..for them
………..………..………..………..to satisfy
………..………..………..………..………..………..my
………..………..………..………..………..………..………..………..………..mind

but i’ve never been the patient kind

and so ……..………..……….. i ………..………..……….. left
and told myself
it was ok

to want more
………..………..dream of………..………..………..more
………..………..………..desire
………..………..………..………..demand
………..………..………..………..………..………..more.more.more
and maybe one day

some
one
will………..want………..………..more………..………..too

or not

perhaps not

(i can want more alone)


and maybe words can satisfy that more too
and i can woo my words
……and play with my word
………..………..………..………..… w
………..………..………..………..o
………..………..………..…...r

and watch them…….g
………..………..in to more than i ever dreamed
i

could be
and that would be enough
that could satisfy
me more
than i learned
loving

ever could
and

perhaps words
would heal me
too