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Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Thursday, May 6, 2010

ready or not

Mario came over yesterday.

I've never mentioned him here. or in any blog i've ever had, which is strange seeing that he's the only constant male in and out of my life. I've known him since...the time of bar mitzvahs...if that seems accurate. he was my sister's first college boyfriend. They dated or actually never actually dated, but they something for a year and a half...but during that "something" they changed. and life has never been the same for either one of them.

They have known each other for a decade now.

10 years of ons and off and never really ons, but something close to it.

I always say i love like Kathy and heathcliffe. but i didn't know what that kind of love was until Mema and Mario. They just

love

and never meet in the middle



but we all know they will


one day.


He shows up. randomly. completely out of the blue. for a day. and when when he's here its like he's always been here. since the first day when he walked in our house, 6'7" of lanky puerto rican nonsense. wife beater with not shirt on, and just joy. my mother says he walked in like he was her son.

and he did.

he just immediately was one of us.

my mother always referred to him as her son-in-law. that she loved him. but not for mema. not yet.


but she dreamt of him. of him and mema. and two little girls in white dresses. and a little boy with big brown eyes.

that was years ago. before a little boy with brown eyes. and two little girls born months apart.

but it was there. all along.



he comes and goes. its usually 7 years between me seeing him. but he comes in like the big brother i miss without realizing how much i miss him.

and he gives advice about relationships. And remembers stories i've told. and asks about people i've mentioned.

he has his favorites too.

he always liked him.

how ironic.


he asks about poetry. it was the connection mema and him always had in common. it was what we had in common too. but meghan said he would never be on her level. somehow he reached it.

i guess thats how mario and i have always gotten along. i play his part in the story of my life.


mario asked me what happened. I told him- to a certain extent. he asked how old he was. i said my age. he shook his head.

thats a bad age. let him go. he'll go and see whats out there. mess around for a
little. but he'll come back. trust me. i know. he'll realize. and he'll come
back.

i usually believe everything mario says, this isn't one of those times. but it'll be nice to see at least one of us having our happy ending.


he told mema i was like his little sister. that we had spoken. i'd told her, but not about everything we said.

you're the one i've always seen settling down with my sister. my mother
considers you her son-in-law. but not until you're ready. don't hurt her again.


he gave her a deadline this time. of what he would do. how long it would take. and when he would be ready.

no questions.

no options.

just facts.


ready or not- this was it. they had played the game before. they knew the outcome since the beginning.

you're my heart, meghan. you're my soul. there were other people, but none of
them touched me like you did. its always been you.


lol. the irony.


its always been you.

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