Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Saturday, November 28, 2009

i...bum bum...want...bum bum...more..

I want more than this...i want more than you. i'm tried of pretending to be less so that you feel like you're more. its not fair to either of us.

how daire you tell me how i feel...tell me what i'll say...tell me what will happen in the future

i still can't get over the fact that you for mad at me over what you think might happen in the future. how is that fair...when i have yet to get mad at you for what you've already done.

i saw a play once. it was called earthquake. it only played for one night at school. it was about a girl trying to find herself in all the wrong places...in all the wrong men...she met one. thought he was the one and changed herself to make sure it stayed that way
but he broke it off
he told her he heard her
heard her heart last night while she was sleeping

it said..."...i...bum.bum...want...bum.bum...more"

i never forgot that play

or those words

and i don't want to tell him thats how i feel

but he asked me yesterday if he ever thinks that he's not the one. i told me i never thought that...

but is it worth it if he is...if this is how i feel after it all

i could find someone and be happy.

and maybe be less...but in the end

maybe it would make me more...


i want...

to be...


Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I told my friend and coworker that I was applying for a new job and told her about it. Later that day she decided to apply and i helped her fix up her resume and cover letter. We both interviewed, I was called back immediately to tell me how wonderful everything went...she was emailed a week later thanking her for her interview.

she just got the job...

because i'm over qualified and they dont want to have to pay me more

...we have the same qualifications...


Friday, November 20, 2009

I wonder if you knew how much loving you hurts

This probably should have been my first post, but I was too frustrated with my day to be social...

Greetings to all. I'm new to blogspots, but not new to blogging. Just thought it was time to get back in the groove of things. Maybe if I let out some thoughts here I'll be able to keep my mouth closed a little more out in public.

Lets get you up to speed. I'm 23 years old living near enough to the nations capital to claim it as my own, ( and anyone from this area knows that they consists of about 3 different states that no one near here even know about.) My sister is weeks from spawning...we're on the count down to welcoming the newest member of the clan. My mother is starting to date. My brother - the perpetual student - is, obviously, still in school getting her second masters. I haven't seen my father in years (minus the random sighting at my college graduation)...so I probably aught to say I haven't spoken to him in years, is married with a new born...but thats a story for another time all together.

I'm currently in that strange middle ground between college and the real world. I just haven't quite decided what the real world entails as of yet.

maybe i'll just go back to school...

I'm working as a receptionist as a doctors office...which is the expected bitch work...but being over qualified for the position makes me a threat...which some how makes me the office threat...its nice to be hated as a profession...

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years...yet another middle ground. we're constantly in this position... we just haven't figured out which level we're going to end up on...

I probably ought to get back to writing my personal statement yet i really haven't decided if law is where i'm supposed to end up...

its hard to feel motivated for a future you're really not ready to meet.

but i guess i'll go back to the real world and post again when i have a story to tell

"This isn't my life...this is a pay check"

Another long day in the cage we call in office surrounded by nonsense. I wonder how many altercations someone can get into before they snap and kill someone. Just saying....I understand my job is the lowest of the totem pole, but lets be fair...or at least decent.

So the doctor has continued to live around he pay check Ms. Joi de Vivre is still "secretly" in love with him and the two managers are still sneaking for joint bathroom breaks.

sometimes I feel like I'm living in a sitcom...i just can't spot the cameras...