dear you

Dear you,

i've been thinking about you a lot recently. maybe because i haven't heard from you. or maybe because i keep remember the last things you said to me. either way you have crossed my mind from time to time...and i'd write to you, but i know you wouldn't respond....and as much as i enjoy this new game called rejection- i've grown a little too accustomed to it...so i'll just write this and feel better know i said what i wanted to say- even if you never see it.

i miss you. i miss the friendship we used to have. the truce. the balance. the secret that we shared, but somehow lost along the way of growing up. i miss talking to you. and writing to you. and knowing that if anything happened i could count- if on no one else- on you. but i guess our friendship was always one sided in that way.

i never knew if you depended on me quite as much as i always depended on you.

i took that for granted.

i wish you all the best. i wish you sun shine, and happiness, and love. i wish you understanding, and equality, and someone who will understand the three million layers that make up just half of you.

i hope one day we'll meet again. one day we'll speak again. one day you'll see something and remember the small people who were there before everything else began...and maybe in that moment....for just a second...you'll remember me.

i hope you know that you're so much more than anyone ever imagined. that you were so much more than. so intimidating almost, in your yearning for more. more than what we could give you. you wanted to world, but resided in a small town. small towns were never meant to hold you. i hope you have that world. that you take it and own it and be everything you've always known you could be.

i hope you know all the things i was too afraid to tell you. i hope you could understand my fears. i hope you could forgive a silly girl for grown up fears and childish fantasies. i wish...i thousand and one things i don't deserve to...


i pray for you. i'll continue to. and maybe one day....if nothing else we can think of each other and smile.

until then...whenever i look at the stars...they'll remind me of you

-me

....tell me something...