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Friday, May 14, 2010

memories all alone in the moonlight

so i've been reading my xanga. (my boss is out of town and there's nothing else to do from 7:30 until I leave at 4).

I've fallen for you all over again. each one of you. watching myself fall in love through my diary entries.

its almost as if its happening all over again

i feel the butterflies. i ride the rollercoaster. i see the heart break before it hits...and i still feel the tears in my eyes.

lol. the bittersweet taste of history...

i'm not sure if it should make me feel more comfortable to know that i keep making the same mistakes over and over again. its almost as if an author keeps rewriting the same character with different features.

or maybe i keep falling for the similaraties in all of you

or i only see him in all of you


or i'm just me...either way...i've relived it all this past week.

ever chocolate kiss, ever dinner date, every early morning, every tear

and everytime i run home to my sister and watch as she helps me put all of the little pieces back together to make the mosaic that is my heart.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Currently Reading
The Wind Done Gone: A Novel
By Alice Randallsee related

“ They called me Cinnamon because I was skinny as a stick and brown…Now when I tell it, I say they called me Cinnamon because I was sweet and spicy. Sweet, hot, strong, and black - like a good cup of coffee” pg. 2

“Sometime it feels good, sometimes feeling good is enough” pg. 30
“Twice I’ve been killed by a man” pg. 37

“The first time you stop loving somebody, you learn all love ends. And loving somebody is just the graceful practice of patience before the love dies” pg. 43

“…my memories are like fish in a bowl swimming one way and then another, detached, insignificant, but still I turn back to look, remember, watch, mesmerized as the memories glide past” pg. 44

“She would have known that she was not and had never been a featured player in the theater of his life” pg. 45

“Truth to tell, it’s the lesser part what chose me.” pg. 47

“I’ll call another girl ‘bitch’ before you blink, but I don’t like to hit a woman. I guess it always felt like too much of a man to o it. Strange enough. Strength always seemed to rob the girl out of me, so I always take care to keep it hid” pg. 57

“ Freedom had a flavor, and we were tasting it” pg. 56

“’Its like a bad taste in your mouth to b the only person who knows something, something good or something bad. Being the only one is bitter. Being one of the two is sweet” pg. 58

“I don’t feel my heart beat, but I want to” pg. 64

“ But it’s like this. Long ago. Long ago. How long ago? I don’t even know. I stopped letting myself want anything I could not have.” pg. 69

“ I knew he wouldn’t love me. Wouldn’t touch me. Wouldn’t take me” pg. 72

“He’s playing with me. I will not play in the shadow of Other” pg. 74

“Had I ever really loved him, or had I just wanted what was hers? Was he mine before he was hers? Was it me he saw when he first saw her walking down the steps of Twelve Slaves Strong as Trees?” p. 80

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