my sister was talking to one of her coworkers, who happens to be a friend of mine- from the time of polly pocket and tea parties. Sometimes i wonder if we would still be friends if we met during the time of boyfriends and permits, instead.
anyway. back to the story- my sister told her she didn't want to be with her soulmate. she had been there. she knew the pain of loving-she didn't want that right now. she was comfortable where she was. She liked her boyfriend, he was cute, he took care of business (to a certain extent) but when its over she won't cry.
it got me thinking of a drunken night with Mango. i told her that too
sometimes its eerie how alike me and my sister are.
i had loved before. i had loved right and i had loved wrong. and i had walked away without pieces each time.
i don't want love right now. i want security. i want protection. i want more than what i had before.
i know my heart. he'll always be here
i knew my soul. he grew away
i knew my arm/my leg/the part of me that never asked to play the role- and i felt guilty that i put him there...but i learned to lean on myself this time.
and when i'm settled. and can take care of myself. then i'll love for love.
and if not- if never. at least i have me.
and for once.