I thought I'd share my useless face with the rest of the world...but actually its rather intriguing. Its been ever since 1996. just think of all of the April's I missed out on. I could have been writing sonnets in masse. or rhyming for the sake of rhyming...or just written poetry for the sake of writing poetry ina month that everyone else was doing it too...
well i guess people are always writing poetry...and since i catch myself turning my prose into stanzas more often than note, i guess every month is poetry month for me.
I found my journal the other day. I tend to lose it whenever i go through some sort of turmoil in my life...anyway. i found her...tucked away on a bookcase in my room. I spent the last couple of nights rereading my past...
thats the great thing about journals, its like a map...to show you how you ended up where you are now.
the unfortunate aprt is i keep making the same mistakes
and ending up in the same places...
on to happier moments.
yesterday was easter
i'd say we all to AniBunni to church, but somehow i didn't make it. the 10 alarms in my room didn't wake me oddly enough. I
I'm not bitter :-/
Aaron's mom called. Saying all the right things that caused all the wrong results, and i ended up crying on my kitchen floor talking to her. she told me that she never heard from me and asked "why? did she break up with me too?" lol. I thought she hated meafter it all.
i think thats what kept me with Aaron the longest. not the past history...not all the time i invested...but his family. god i loved his family. i wanted christmas eves with them, and sunday morning with them, and friday nights in the backyard discussing politics over steak and potatoes with them. I can't even say aaorn was a part of those memories...most often than not he was in his room playing video games while i just sat and loved his family.
she told me no matter what i'm still part of her family and i'm always welcome. she said she didn't know what happened between us, (i'm not sure if i believe all of that), and that she doesn't want to know, (I totally believe that) and she expects to hear from me more often...
it made me cry....to think i held on for so long......when i never had to.....
haven't really heard from anyone. Other than Mango. oh wait i never mention dinner with Shalanda on Friday
So Shalanda and I went to eat Friday night since we had a lot of water under the bridge...that we needed to well...wash with? (improper use...)
anyway. it was a nice up-to-date meeting...including a little argument on her going off on me 5 months ago (which she denies) but it was good seeing her. She's getting married in May...thats how we started talking again...my rude way of asking if i should mail her present...she later told me if i did she would have sent it back (typical...) but i'll just bring it to the wedding.
she told me all of the drama with her fiance's family. i don't miss that. the drama of relationships.
or the drama of college
life is quieter now without either...awkardly silent without either
anyway...this blog is rambling on today...i blame the lack of sleep and not the millions of thoughts swimming in my mind...we'll see if i'm in the mood to let some slip out later
but back to my first comment. happy poetry month