because its only 12:33
and i feel like it should be 5
its been a hectic morning, transitioning from one set of people to another and tying up loose ends before the weekend. there have been numerous melt downs. a couple of arguments. a few minutes set aside for gossiping and yet here we still are.
i don't even know what to say.
i have little to show for the hours of work...but everyday seems to go that way. a full day and at the end i have to stop and wonder what exactly i did for most of it.
yesterday was dramatic. no i shouldn't say that. it wasn't yesterday. it was more like midnight.
aaron and i play this game where we pretend like the other doesn't know. or rather aaron plays the game and i watch it happen. this silent truce that things are as they appear and theres no secret underlaying plot that we're both trying to figure out.
i usually play along for awhile. i tend to prefer the rose tinted perspective of a woman in love to reality...but eventually i throw my chips in. i always do. i lay them on the table and see what hand you choose to play.
like playing poker when i already know your hand
and we resolve the issue...or yell and cry and pretend like there is no longer an issue...and wait until the game begins again.
you started playing that game again yesterday. or maybe you've been playing it for a while and its just now that i'm starting to read it for what it is. i'm rusty at this now it seems...
but that doesn't mean i don't know.
it doesn't mean i won't act...it just means that its begun again.
and i don't know
i really want to play this