more....more.....more....

I don't know how I could possible have postpartum depression after the stressed out depressed nine months that i've just gone through.

I guess in hispanic families they prevent PPD by treating pregnant women like shit and celebrating the father of the child for knocking them up. since the moment i let them know that we conceived i've been cut off, ignored, brushed aside, reprimanded, corrected and told that i'm "overly protective." I think at this point i'm prepared for absolutely anything after the baby is born.

they, however, have no idea just how overly protective i plan on becoming....



5 more weeks until EDD (expected delivery day). I'm looking forward to finally meeting the little girl who has claimed residence of my body...and at the same time dreading having to share her with other people. I almost want to hold her in to protect her from the firestorm that her birth will cause in this family.

I'm completely over the group think.

I'm done with the extended family mentality

I'm over the cultural difference and the excuses

"this is what we do"

"this is how it's always been done"

" this is who we are"

when are they going to realize that i'm not one of them...and my daughter won't be raised that way.




how dare she tell me i "can't be overly protective." maybe someone should have been more protective with their children. Maybe then they wouldn't all have smoked weed and had sex before ever getting a high school diploma. Maybe someone would have graduated from college now. Maybe the honor roll would have been an actuality rather than a dream. Maybe they would have succeeded more in life if someone actually looked out for their children rather than what everyone else thought was the right thing to do.

My mother was overly protective with us...and maybe we didn't do things the way she planned...but we all have graduated from college. We all can support ourselves. We all succeeded in life to this point. no one can fault her for the choice that she made to put us first in life...and no one will fault me.

fuck all of you and your group think.


fuck you and your third world mentality.


fuck you for looking down your ignorant noses at me for wanting more for my child than you ever wanted for yours.


In your desperate attempt to keep everyone on the same level you have hindered yourself for generations. I want my daughter to far exceed even the heights that I have dreamt for myself.




i hope that she looks back on you all and shakes her head...that you all were small hurdles that her mother over took so that she could claim her spot in the stars






how dare you expect her to huddle on the ground with you all...



....when there is an entire universe for her to explore.






fuck you all very much...for showing me that at the end of the day...none of you matter