Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Friday, July 8, 2011

a piece of advice

if you never listen to a thing i say...and you just read this to laugh at the daily nonsense i'm put through...

please at least remember this one tidbit of advice:

marriage counselors are a god send.

this isn't our first counselor...we actually failed with him. I'm not sure if i posted that story or if its lost in the sea of saved, but unpublished entries.

it was ugly. a massacre. a debacle.

a jolly old gentleman who told aaron to stand up for himself...so aaron stood up...against the counselor.

i should have known it would end in flames after the first evening.

i loved the man. he's a pastor at my church. i see him rather often actually. aaron however. well lets just hope they never cross each others paths again.

well Pastor M (i probabaly should have mentioned his name earlier in this post) referred us to Justin.

I personally was ready to give up. I mean seriously, who fails marriage counseling? but we went and met with him. i expected the same thing to happen. we walk into the room where a man who barely reaches 5'9" and somewhere between 27 and 39 - a stocky little man with a huge personality who had the audacity to curse in a church.

it was love at first sight

i must admit that it feels like the conversation tends to turn more towards football, weight lifting and injuries...but real matters get discusses in the middle.

we talk about concerns. he listens. asks questions. poses ideas. turns it into a sports analogy i don't understand but some how issues get resolved.

- - -

we are having some huge cultural differences. that's the only way i can think of describing it. i knew from the beginning that Aaron was from a large hispanic family. That's what i loved about it. all of the laughter and joy. the bickering the making up. Even when we weren't together i loved it. Hell i talked to his mother at least once a month while we weren't together.

but then i got pregnant

and everything changed

all of a sudden i wasn't the GF anymore...i was ONE OF THEM...and my child was THEIRS...and my opinions were the last anyone cared to hear about.

it was like one day everything was great and the next day....no one spoke to me again.

i don't even know if we talk now. they tell me what they've planned. i tell them no thanks we already have it covered and pause. repeat. i swear everything turns into a discussion.

no i don't want to do that

well i think you should

well i really don't want to do that

well we all think you should

well i'm not doing it

well we were so sure that you would

no. i'm not

o. ok...well we really think it would be best if you would.

it makes me want to rip my hair out. Aaron is immune...he just ignores it. pretends to be asleep. walks away. says ok and then just does w/e it is that he wanted to do in the first place.

I don't want to play these games for the rest of my life

my way of avoiding it and just not going over there. just not talking to them.

so now they think i don't like them...but how do i tell them its not that i don't like you...i just don't like how to try to control my life.

its an issue that aaron will have to step inbetween for the rest of our lives together. i just don't have the patience for it...i just don't have the attention span to care about their hurt feelings

but at least last night we were able to talk about it. at least the tip of the iceberg anyway.

and it was nice that the Justin understood where i was coming from. he understood extended families. he understood how crazy ppl get when babies come along. he knew what we needed...

and i appreacitate that.

i'm not saying everythings fixed. i'm not saying that the world is rainbows and unicorns...

but i can say that today...today its sunny out...and i'm not afraid of the ppl that usually make it rain

and i can thank our counselor for that

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