i miss you

i miss sleeping...

people keep telling me that this is just my body preparing me for the rest of my life. no sleep at night. surviving off of fumes.

what they don't seem to understand is that once LO comes I can share the responsibility with Aaron. While she's incubating it's just me pacing the halls with her.

I'm sure i'll miss this. The feeling of her stretching and kicking inside of me. the tickling feeling of her hiccups and her fingers. the stretch and pull of her trying to make room where there isn't any.


but all i can think of right now is how much i miss sleeping

i miss sleeping on my stomach

i miss sleeping on my back

i miss sleeping laying down

i miss cuddling up next to aaron and knocking out as soon as the lights turn off

i miss sleeping straight until my alarm clock goes off

i miss 2 blankets and a fan on while i'm sleeping

i miss layering clothes before i go to bed

i miss hot showers right before sleep


god i miss sleeping...


now my night consists of fans and light sheets. piles of pillows to create and awkward half up half down position so i can breathe. falling asleep at 8 with the tv on to wake up at 12 with everything off except for me. peeing every 20 minutes. no comfortable position for longer than 10

and no real rest UNTIL the alarm goes off. Its always the last 5 minutes that I actually get comfortable. that last second before it's time to go to work that I actually could clothes my eyes and just stay...



i think while other ppl dream of amazing nights of hot sex or romantic nights of moon night strolls on sandy beaches... i will always dream of long nights with just me

and my pillows

and sleep