ok so the post below was actually from yesterday. I was trying to update, but i had to leave for one of the walks i had mentioned. I was absolutely furious!!!
well i contact my mother and let her know everythign thats going on and that MIL is asking for someone else to contact other than me. Mom says to give her cell phone number and tell MIL to call her if she wants.
So I when I get home I tell my mom about the awkward conversation and how upset I was and she was really lackluster about it. I was blown and she was just brushing it off and kept asking about baby shower plans.
Finally I called her on it and she was like "i'm not going to deal with her personality when she calls...i had a crazy mother in law. i want to be able to answer every question directly do she can't try to manipulate the situation..."
So this chick calls my mom like an hour later. i was in the house listening to the whole thing and trying to keep my comments to myself. when my mom got off the phone she was like:
"wow she's a piece of work."
She kept pushing the park idea and my mom kept saying that it was at our house and that i had already planned it out and MIl tried to say that in her famiyl baby showers are always a suprise and Mom said well Holly knows what she wants and if its a surprise she can't really pick and choose her own baby stuff. she kept pushing "well this is her first baby and we've all been there..." and MIL was like "oh...i never thought of it that way..."
it was like every time my mom told her about one decision she'd try to push somehting else.
"we're getting finger foods"
"well we wanted to make food"
"I'm buying the wedding cake"
"well IU thought I was getin gthe wedding cake"
then the kicker MIL asks "will there be alcohol?"
ummm...no...its a baby shower. maybe champage to toast their wedding...but thats probably it
"well there needs to be alcohol...thats what my family does..."
i calmed down by the time aaron got to my house but we still had a long talk about it...that i don't think its fair that i can't make any decisions about my own baby. that i've already been told where my babyshower can be, who can be invited, what my baby is dedicated in, what jewlery she can wear and what blanket she sleeps on. the way things are going i don't even want a baby shower anymore
he apologized about his mom and he wasn't very supportive when i was texting him like mad during the day...he was like "just call next time...i can't text at work."
i told him that if this is how the baby shower is i don't even want to see the first birthday. i'm not going to have alcohol there either. if its for my baby then why does everyone get drunk and what...they take a nap. wtf is that?! if its about my baby then its about them and if this shower is about me...then its about me...so why does everyone else get to get wasted and i have to just sit there and act like thats ok?
Aaron's a lot better when he's not around his mother. she's really manipulative. she's a nag and won't shut up till she gets her way. when he's at my house around my family its different. i dunno why saturday blew up the way that it did. i was really aggressive about everything and maybe that was the wrong way of dealing with the situation...but i felt like i was being backed into a corner. now sitting down and talking about it i don't want to strangle him. its better than he's not in the middle. just let me talk to her...or my mother. lol.
and the whole going through my mother bullshit. thats going to stop! i'm not going to have a grown woman telling on my to my mother when i don't do what she wants.
my mom keeps asking what lorena can buy...since it seems to be a big deal that she get something big...i told my mother it would be really big of her (MIL) if she would shut the F up and let us plan the shower"
The sad part about all of this is that I joined this message board on babycenter.com. the board is called "Dealing With you In Laws and family of origin" or DWIL as we call it for short. I used to go on and ther eand laugh thanking god that I didn't have a MIL like that. that even when she got on my nerves it wasn't that bad.
last week there was a woman who has cut off her mother in law for over stepping her position. Well MIL got upset and called the woman's mother to tell on her.
ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME
i didn't even know what to say...
and then yesterday happened.
I love my BF. I adore him and I'm really glad that he understands or is trying to understand what I am going through. I don't want to start a family war with this woman, but I'm not going to give up on things just ebcause she wants it a different way. and no one has ever gotten anytthing from my by being passive aggressive. If she wants to talk we can talk...but her going behind my back to complain to everyone else that I'm not including her in each and every one of my plans...well thats going to make me avoid you.
she's being really needy and it's kind of annoying.
let me enjoy my pregnancy.
let me enjoy the only first time of this I will ever have.
if it turns into a constant war for attention she'll win. she'll win because i'll leave and she can have all of the attention for why no one ever see the grandchild.
i'm not just anyone here...we've known each other for 4 years now. don't be surprised that I do what I've always done.
so back up and let me keep on goign