a trip down memory lane

so i think i've told everyone of importance that i'm pregnant. well everyone at my job of importance.

no wait. i haven't told me displaced boss. i don't really know how to tell her yet. i think i'm going to wait until rikia comes back. i feel like she'll be disappointed. all of her plans that she had for me...and now i'm knocked up.

random: it kind of weirds me out when ppl say "congrats" when i tell them i'm pregnant. i guess its the standard statement...but i feel like this isn't some great accomplishment. like i didn't win a marathon. i didn't receive a degree of some sort...i wasn't even trying when this happened

i'm sure for women he have tried for years to conceive when they find out they deserve the congrats. or maybe their husband does...or their uterus. or the doctor who successful planted the egg

i just didn't do what my mother always told me to

and now here i am

thanks for the congrats...but i'm pretty sure you wouldn't be saying that if you saw how this all came about



i saw jemar last week. he graduated from school in december. he's working and studying for the bar at the moment. finally let go of rhirhi and is just sort os hoeing it out....again...

its good to see old friends.

he's one of those guys that i can hate and stop talking to for 5 years and yet when we see each other again its like nothing happened and we can talk for hours. thats what happened. i was planning on only being there for 5 minutes...4 hours late i'm barely keeping my eyes open and dragging myself home.

he couldn't believe i'm pregnant. "I always imagined you as the cool aunt who travels the world"

yeah...me too. lol

we reminisced over mcdaniel days and mcdaniel friends. about law schools and lsats.he asked me what i was going to do about law school now. i told him i had bigger things to worry about

maybe once the babys in school. maybe when things settle down for a while

he said "we'll get you in...even if we have to grandfather you in..."

we laughed about his old relationships. his old conquests. his hoeing days...that will probably continue until he's just ready to have kids.

"i can see you just settling down like - we'll make cute kids...you could be happy with anyone"

he laughed knowing i was right

he finally told me the truth about khalilah.

"what took you so damn long?"

"well i thought they were still talking. i don't want stuff getting back..."

w/e...i knew from the begining. jemar doesn't try to fuck someone...he...well he does.

"you're a tall black man who graduated from school, no kids, no drama with a JD...yeah being a tall black man alone would get you laid...the rest is just extra"

he said all the things you want someone to say about your bf ex. laughed where i wanted him to laugh. mocked where i needed him to mock. he offered to call her. i told him it wasn't necesary. hell i'll probably see her on the train tomorrow...

he asked me what i saw in aaron. how things are going. what the plan was...i answered to the best of my ability. the plan question catches me each time.



its good to run into him time and time again...he's moving back to NY in march... so i guess the random visits will end then.

he's like a relic from my past. the boy who will never fully become the man i know he is.

when he does i don't really know what i'll do


but its nice

just for a moment

to be that girl again