moments like these

Something happened yesterday...probably something inconsequential...but its niggling in my mind





i was standing with him. in the cold. on the street. outside his car. talking about plan. future plan and past plans...



and he asked about a threesome. the usually thing to irk me.



he said with his ex...to really get under my skin







i laughed and told him she wasn't my type







and then he brought up the strip club. his constant question of if i could be bisexual. thats something new...i've brushed it off as being silly...it'll probably get annoying soon.





i told him that i think the female body is beautiful. i think its aesthetically pleasing. does that mean the thought of a woman going down on me turns me on? no. it doesnt. it actually makes me feel kind of uncomfortable





he said "yeah but you said that girl from transformers was hot"







megan fox?





yeah. she friggin gorgeous.



then we got into an argument because he said she was just aight...











moving forward. he asked why i wanted to go to a strip club with him. i reiterating the same rule. now a woman grinding on me wouldn't turn me on...it probably would turn him on





"its like...a turn on. showing you off. knowing you're attracted to them. that they're attracted to you...but that you're coming home with me at the end..."





he said he went once. he didn't lik eit





with her?





with a bunch of ppl







which one





::blank stare:: it doesn't matter





then a shook my head...



and he said





"don't pretend to be all innocent. you've done things"













....what?....





completely out of no where. i asked him what that meant. where that had come from. he just shook his head



so you're mad at me now over something else you've assumed i've done?





he shook his head









its the little moments that always come back









we're going to a surprise birthday part this weekend. thrown by the girl who used to be a friend. i guess you could say we're enemies now. or i'm her enemy at least

something


something changed along the way of growing up...that moment when you realize that you've gotta look out for yourself first


she learned that first...but forgot that i'd learn it too.

and we did what we needed to protect ourselves.



so sam's having a surprise party on saturday. we're going. aaron said she asked that i come. specifically that he bring me


i asked if it was a set up...since there's no other way of seeing it.



its going to be interesting.


it always is.





we'll see how it all turns out in the end.