strangely enough i'm pretty sure none of us saw this coming...maybe our parents did. who knows. i guess i should give some background- i'm not sure if i ever told this from where it began-
it started with wade and nicole. they met in middle school i think. 8th grade and dated non stop (or later i found out- on and off) for years. she lasted through everyone elses relationship. aaron and jordana. sam and someone. richard and...well i don't know if richard ever really dated anyone. nicole lasted...well everyone else faded...
and then richard became one with ashley. they met in school. nicole and ashley hit it off...or were forced to after forced interaction since wade and richard had become best friends.
and then i came along. i didn't meet either one of them for years...but shay followed with sam and we hti it off (i'm sure i mentioned the downfall of that one.)
there are side stories. a valentines day we were forced to sit together. birthday parties. new years. vacations. events that should have been single...but weren't.... but we all managed. the point of this story is the exits.
ashley went first. shortly after graduation. she lived in penn and he lived in md and the distance simply became too much. i didn't particularly care for him so i didn't think much of it...plus i had been in attendance when he started hitting on out waitress when his gf wasn't around and i thought he was wack to begin with...
then nicole. she received a phone call from the other girl that he was sleeping with and she dipped. it wasn't surprising after he came to a party at my school and tried to sneak into the bedroom of one of my younger housemates...i jokingly told that to nicole once...she later told me that she wished she'd paid more attention to my story. she packed up her stuff and disappeared for a year.
and then i did. finally i couldn't deal with everything that had went up and fell down and simply needed somewhere to stand where the floor stayed beneath me...
then shay. on and off and on again. i think she stayed the longest.
wade had nene and then daphney and then nene and then daphney and then...well you get the point...
and aaron had khalilah
and richard had...well i dunno who richard had but he said that their relationship was open...i'm not sure what she said.
we won't talk about the others...
there were vacations. and birthday parties. and family events. and a history there...
ashley came back first. just sort of appeared as if she had never left.
then i did. an email that turned into more and the usual ups and downs and round and rounds that make the world wind that in our relationship.
and finally nicole.
no one saw that coming.
they say she called him out of the blue. just called to say that she had forgiven him. just that. she didn't trust him, but she forgave him.
they hung out.
he said he wasn't feeling it. he just wasn't there anymore
women only want you when you're up. they only want you when everythings going for you and they want your money...
he ranted and raved and complained to them.
aaron told me nicole wanted to have a game night on saturday and we were all invited.
i stopped.
nicole? i thought you said he wasn't feeling her...
he shrugged...i don't even know...but you wanna go?
who's everyone?
wade-nicole, richard-ashley, sam-shay...why?
shrugs...just wondering. last time you said everyone...well it was everyone. just making sure...
he looked at me. shook his head and laughed...
and so there's the plan. we'll see if actually happens. there's a history here. not just between the men- but between the women too.
things aren't as secretly nice and cozy as they used to be...
its just funny how we all came back.
i think its just a time. right after graduation. a moment when women realize that something shifted. life just alters out of the blue. your friends are getting married. people aer moving out. and here you are...where you were years ago going through the same shit that had happened before. i expected life to change once i got home...and it didn't. or it did...but not the way i expected it to.
i think we needed to learn that we could live without it. without the comfort we were used to. that we could survive on our own if we needed to. that we deserved more. that we could do worse or better or in between.
we needed to learn where we wanted to be...
i resented her because she had what i did not during our silence...but i can't.
i resent what she had. that she was there...but not what we needed to learn.
maybe i needed to learn that i could survive without your loving
and maybe...maybe you needed ot learn that you could survive and be loved...
i can't resent that.
the strange moments that make up life...and growing up...and adolescents and adulthood. these are the moments that make us who we are.
its strange how things turn out.
life is funny that way
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