Aaron forgave me today....
i must really be horrible at communication if he thout at any moment i was apologizing for something.
He forgave me for everything that he resented me for. however he never gave me an examples of what he resented me for.
This whole conversation came out when he started asking me when i get out of class and if i wanted to get something to eat. when i asked why he said we needed to talk....about what?
"Honestyle about what the issue of everything. I didn't know what it was between me and u but I know now. And maybe u do to but u think I'm against u and every time we talk we don't get the answers we really want."
"I forgive u for everything"
umm what? the last time i spoke to him he was going off on me about hwo i need to get over my issued with his mother....but now you want to go to eat and you forgive me.
i said ok....i guess sometimes i can't help being rude.
he that i brushed it off like i don't care. "Maybe u should learnto forgive."
"maybe you should learn to apologize."
"i'm sorry I ruined your life. OSrry I let you down. Sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me"
"What do you want?" You want a clean slate? You want to be cleansed of your sins?
Thank you for realizing your actions have consequences.
but no. I don't forgive you. I don't have to"
thats when he said i think i'm perfect. that i only care about myself....all of this while he's sending things from his new cellphone...on his break at work. from his new life. in his new home....while i'm 25 and married and alone....
nope i don't care about you hurting...i guess not...i guess looking at your vacation pictures. and hearing your holiday stories from your cousins...and listening to your excuses once a month...and suddenly you forgive me.
thank you. thank you for your forgiveness. i feel complete now. thank you...i can now continue on with my life in knowing that you have forgiven me...
he then asked me to tell him that i odn't love him....because he can't go on thinking that i do.
i won't give you that. that release from your guilt. i won't lie for you to feel better at night.
does that make me a horrible person to not know how to not love you?...
no one explained that in that fine line between love and hate...you can still love that person....i think thats what makes i hurt even more in the end...the not knowing how....to.........let............go............