i got a new job recently.
i real job
a real grown up job...
and i'm kind of sad to realize that i'm not really a kid anymore...
i love my job, don't get me wrong...how could i not like a job that enables me to update my blog during work hours and leave 2 hours before anyone else.
i really have nothing to complain about
or maybe i can complain of the down time that allows me to think about everything that I have lost on the way of finding myself here. Its no one's fault, but mother nature and the endless ticking of time that has forced my eyes to open and my heart to grow and my feet to walk away on their own accord until one day i woke up miles away from where i started.
on quiet mornings like today I miss where i used to be.
the security of naivety that allowed me to close my eyes and only see what i wanted to see
i see it all now
and i can't be mad that you turned out to be exactly who you told me you were...rather than who i had tried to make you
that was my own fault
but it doesn't make it hurt any less.
lets change subjects. I'm enjoying my life at the moment. the endless parties and social gatherings that make up a 20-something in/or around DC. Its amazing to walk into a club an the center of a universe for a night. I can shed my layers of insecurities that i'm usually so wrapped in become HoLlYwOoD as I've been affectionately named by the group of men who have tried unsuccessfully to make me there's.
I don't want to be anyones right now.
Mango and I have made a name for ourselves by doing nothing but be who we are...and after being in relationships where we have been shaped into everything but that its nice to be appreciated for not even trying to be original....we simply are...
i think i'll give the clubs a break for a little bit.
Half the fun of being the ingenues is the mystery behind it...can't let them think they have you before you're ready...
lets see how long this lasts