so my trainer told me my butt was getting bigger
::blank stare::
was not the plan. definitely not the plan....typical
we measured about a month ago and it actually was the same size. my waist had gone from a 35 to a 31 but my hips were still a 47. hopefully they still are a 47. so its not that i'm getting bigger, but simply that everything else is getting smaller
i'm not sure if that makes me feel any better either
i saw my reflection yesterday as i was walking to the gym. the stairwell in the parking garage is walled in in black glass. it was raining too...i don't know if that would distort anything, but i hope so. because i never realized how friggin huge everything is back there.
i told someone once that more people are shocked by my butt than i am.
i really don't see it
its the rest of you that take note
its just something thats always been there.
the reason i can never find jeans that fit
and i hate leggings unless i've had a shot or two
and everything eventually turns into a thong
kind of a curse without a reason...until yesterday when i saw a glistening image of a distorted monster who's weapons marched behind her
::ba-gunk:: ::ba-gunk:: ::ba-gunk:: not such a sexy walk from the looks of it...
it looked like i should have back problems and special shoes. i just turned away and rushed into the gym...just to see my trainer staring at my butt throughout our entire 30 minute session.
note to the reader- he usually does this. its not out of character...its simply that he's usually slicker about it.
this time he actually had to walk away...just to come back and gawk at it again
welcome to the land of insecurity
i feel back for people with big chests. at least with me i don't see the looks half the time- they usually happen after i walk away, but for my sister- she has to look you in the face while you stare down her shirt.
i think i was more comfortable when i was hidden under miles of fat....now i can't even hide in clothes.
there is simply no winning.
maybe meghan was right...maybe i should make that blog
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
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