back to reality

alright. so this weekend was a whirlwind to say the least.


i've decided that i'm only going to go out once a month. well not even decided it just kind of turns out that way. I'm really not a bog partier. i enjoy going out and hanging with friends, but after a while it just gets to be too much. but once a month is just the perfect amount. get a new outfit, new hair style, (or the one i'm the best at), check the vlogs for new make-up ideas, and just go hard.

i want a name for myself...not a reputation


so i went out with mango on friday. actually lets go back further than that. We had decided to go out on saturday for a new club opening (fail...its just too soon to tell that story), but in the process i heard about a party at ibiza on friday. It was Don Jaun's birthday and too many ppl were going and it was just turning out to be a great party and i told mango about it and she was interested but had promised a friend to go to a sorority party. then all of a sudden i was going through the pix on the invite page (facebook...go figure) and there are 5 uploaded...2 of artists, 1 of the promoter, 1 of a girl and 1 of me....wait...i didn't say i was going yet. and i couldn't even talk smack because it was my profile picture.

so i called marko. "ummm...so i was looking through the pictures for the party on friday...umm...why am i in them?" he laughed of course (i didn't) he apologized and promised to get me in VIP for using me as the promo. i didn't want to tell him i was already in...but either way i told Mango and she was down. that was wed

then thursday she was up in the air

then friday she was thinking about it...look don't get me wrong i understand if you have other plans. I get it. but don't fake. and don't keep being wishy/washy cuz i could find someone else to go with...but her "man" works at Ibiza and i know if i went without her that would eb a big deal. plus isata hates ibiza. and last time i went with rudi she blew me.

maybe ibiza just isn't for me.

anyway she ended up deciding to go and was all excited. and i told her i was going hard...so you gotta either catch up or just be comfortable. (she wasn't comfortable)

long story short. she had a mood swing. some girl touched her. her man was talking to someone else. and she decided she wanted to stand in a corner for the rest of the night.

BLOWN

then after yelling at me for hours all night and the following morning...asking me what time to be ready for tonight

::silence::


you know when you're trying to be polite and not tell someone exactly what you're thinking...but being subtle just isn't working. so i just kept sending the same message.
*copy* *paste* *send*
she'd avoid the statement
*copy* *paste* *send*

i decided to go out with isata instead.

let's just skip over the whole club opening story because marko and i still have beef about that. instead he ended up at 24 the club i swore to never go to again. Fonz and Bim were there so it wasn't a total waster and Mia and Raheema showed up as well which just kid of put into perspective that i literally know too many ppl who go out at night in DC. i need to start going to different establishments


met some cool people. didn't spend too much money (still broke till friday though so i dunno how i'm going to make it to work this week.

took some good pictures....might post them we'll see



and now the weekends over. back to being me again.

introducing the new girl in town

i got a new job recently.

i real job

a real grown up job...

and i'm kind of sad to realize that i'm not really a kid anymore...


i love my job, don't get me wrong...how could i not like a job that enables me to update my blog during work hours and leave 2 hours before anyone else.

i really have nothing to complain about



or maybe i can complain of the down time that allows me to think about everything that I have lost on the way of finding myself here. Its no one's fault, but mother nature and the endless ticking of time that has forced my eyes to open and my heart to grow and my feet to walk away on their own accord until one day i woke up miles away from where i started.


on quiet mornings like today I miss where i used to be.

the security of naivety that allowed me to close my eyes and only see what i wanted to see

i see it all now

and i can't be mad that you turned out to be exactly who you told me you were...rather than who i had tried to make you



that was my own fault


but it doesn't make it hurt any less.




lets change subjects. I'm enjoying my life at the moment. the endless parties and social gatherings that make up a 20-something in/or around DC. Its amazing to walk into a club an the center of a universe for a night. I can shed my layers of insecurities that i'm usually so wrapped in become HoLlYwOoD as I've been affectionately named by the group of men who have tried unsuccessfully to make me there's.

I don't want to be anyones right now.

Mango and I have made a name for ourselves by doing nothing but be who we are...and after being in relationships where we have been shaped into everything but that its nice to be appreciated for not even trying to be original....we simply are...


i think i'll give the clubs a break for a little bit.

Half the fun of being the ingenues is the mystery behind it...can't let them think they have you before you're ready...


lets see how long this lasts