a new journey ahead

I haven't posted in a while.

I couldn't seem to find the words...

that in itself is rare. I usually have words. I usually have tons of things to say. and there were things said. things discussed. things yelled and screamed and sobbed...but nothing that could be combined into coherent sentences that explained the confusing i was drowning in.

i'm still there...

not drowning

some how afloat in confusion...

with words...



i'm terrified. absolutely terrified.

this is no where where i thought i'd be. ever. and i'm here. trying to figure out what exactly comes next.

i'm trying to take everything one day at a time...but the entire time i know theres a finish line quickly approaching.

a destination...

a foreign land

a new journey to begin that i can't seem to wrap my head around

apprx. 212 days...


212 days and everything that i've ever known changes.


and i keep looking back at how this all began. and ended and began again...

and i wonder if thats what was meant to be. if must be. there's a plan for everything...but now? why now? how? what? where....

maybe i wasn't as prepared to post as i thought i was...



i'm just trying to take ever thing one step at a time

one day at a time

one breath

one thought


one...


just one...

and maybe a few steps from now i'll figure out where i'm going